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Eisenberg seems like he’d be constantly concerned about his wig placement and always on the phone with his therapist.

Here’s a completely fake wolf who has the personality of Ashley Greene, the natural presence of Kristen Stewart, the same scent as Robert Pattinson’s pits and a coat that is as luscious as the coat on Taylor Lautner’s ass cheeks (I’m guessing).

Taylor Lautner, who’s looking buffer than Madonna’s clit, showed up to the party by himself and afterward, his friend Patrick Schwarzenegger jumped into his Fisker and the two drove off.

I am really disappointed in myself for not typing “Fister” instead of “Fisker.” My talent at making typos has failed me.

know that Billie and Taylor are on that shit together. News says that Billie and Taylor partied at The Nice Guy last night with their co-stars, Abigail Breslin and Keke Palmer. all the details of what they saw and this mess reads like it was ripped straight out of the script that Billie and Taylor were given before delivering this organic scene of love.

Keke Palmer (born name: Lauren Keyana Palmer) Snapchatted Tay Lourd’s act of pure love, and if you put your ear to the screen and listen real closely, you can almost hear the sound of a director whisper-screaming at them to do it like they mean it this time.

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